i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You left your phone here
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