508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
