i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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