If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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