why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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