sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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