well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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