I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
