so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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