Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize