I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
