Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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