remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize