My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
