Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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