you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
