Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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