i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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