yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize