We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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