I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
