I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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