I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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