That's when you crack a 10am beer
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
