btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
