I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
