i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
