Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
