i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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