You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
