I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
