Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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