you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
