So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
