You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
