youre lurking in front of me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
