im having a threesome with these popsicles
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
