that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and she was petting her beer can
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
