you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
