I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
