I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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