I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
