you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
