I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
