If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
