so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We left the knife in your bed.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
