she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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