tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
