I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
