Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
