Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
