Do vagina's smell?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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