u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
