There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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