If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
