Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
