I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I wish I only lived at night.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize