now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize