I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
