where am i from again
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize